At some point they came to get the induction going but they were having a hard time getting my cook ball inserted so they had to call for another doctor. When she finally found my cervix, I was actually already 4cm. This made so much more sense and was such a relief… basically they admitted me to induce me but  the only inducing I really needed was for them to break my water. The doctor who ran point from then on was wonderful and so supportive of my natural birth wishes. 

They broke my water a little after 8 and that definitely made the contractions start coming more intensely. I sat on the ball while we watched Maine Cabin Masters and eventually relaxed in the tub a bit. My nurse was so helpful and gave me some suggestions to get the contractions coming quicker naturally. Eventually they picked up enough that I wanted to get in the shower as that’s my laboring happy place. At that point the portable monitors began sliding around and the doctor offered for me to do intermittent monitoring. I’ve never been offered that option and was so thrilled to not be hooked up to anything for the last bit of my labor. 

Once I started feeling some back labor and pressure I moved back to the bed and had Joel rubbing my back during contractions. That last hour of back labor was definitely tough. Honestly even just typing that makes my tail bone hurt haha. But of course right about the time where I felt like I couldn’t make it, it was time to push. The doctor and nurse were already in the room because they knew my track record and were determined to be in the room when baby was born. I was on hands and knees already trying to get comfortable and thankfully the doctor was all for me delivering in that position. 

At this point, I started pushing and honestly just couldn’t wait to know if we were having Ezra or Lucy Ann. It was our first time waiting to find out gender and it had been fun all pregnancy but it was especially fun during the labor. We had told them that we wanted Joel to be the one to announce if it was a boy or girl. After a few pushes, we heard those precious cries. Within seconds I heard Joel say “Babe… (and his voice caught) It’s Ezra!” Queue all the waterworks. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. We had another precious son. And God had shown His faithfulness to us through another pregnancy and delivery. As I rolled over and got him settled on my chest, the song “You Know What I Need” was playing on my birth playlist. God did indeed know what we needed and we are still overwhelmed with thankfulness. 

Ezra was born on October 23rd at 12:54am weighing 6lbs 10oz. We had decided ahead of time that we wouldn’t reveal the gender to anyone until our kids had met him and knew. That next morning Joel’s mom brought them to the hospital and I don’t know that our kids have ever been so excited. Upon hearing that it was Ezra they all were overjoyed. Malachi teared up. Levi said “this has made my whole life.” The girlies (and the boys) couldn’t wait to get ahold of him.  

The following weeks were full of sweetness but they weren’t without their challenges. I had some blood pressure issues after delivery that were heightened by a reaction to Rhogam. We had to learn to navigate the baby season in a completely new place. And hardest of all was Ezra being hospitalized with RSV at 2 months old. But in the midst of all of that we were thankful for so many ways that God cared for us. Through the body of Christ near and far and through His constant love and grace. Ezra has been the most loving and joyful little babe. He is insanely loved and constantly told so and he’s incredibly affectionate right back. We are beyond thankful to God for the gift that he is and all the ways God drew us to Himself through the journey of his pregnancy and birth. 

1. One month of no grumbling and instead seeking to be grateful in all circumstances. Obviously we want this to last longer than a month but a solid month of focusing on this seemed to help break some of those bad habits.
2. Prep - Pick a month. Commit to making yourself a student of gratitude. I dug for Scripture about thankfulness and made notes to refer back to when I needed extra grounding. I also committed to reading a book on gratitude for the month and found that helpful. I read Growing in Gratitude and that was a great read. I also highly suggest Suffering is Never for Nothing or Calm My Anxious Heart. I also made a Gratitude playlist that was on repeat the month of May and found this very helpful to constantly keep my thoughts in check when I was driving or doing dishes or making breakfast.
3. Accountability - Tell those who are closest to you and especially those you tend to grumble to what you are doing. Ask them to help you remember to look for ways to be thankful instead of grumbling. Chances are that even if they don't ever have to remind you, simply them knowing will help you not jump to old tendencies.
4. Pray pray pray. I can't reiterate enough that this was a work of the Spirit and not of my flesh. There's no amount of willpower that could have flipped my thought life like that. Pray before you start and at the beginning of each day and every time you're tempted to grumble. I tried to journal prayers of thanksgiving every 2-3 days. This is a habit that I'm keeping on my weekly calendar now that the initial month is over. It's so helpful for me to reflect on the week and see all the things I can be thankful for. Colossians 4:2 says "Devote yourselves to prayer. Stay alert in it with thanksgiving."
5. Team up. If you have a friend or a spouse who expresses interest in joining you, it will certainly make the journey more enjoyable to be able to share what you're learning and pray for each other.

• When was I most tempted to grumble and how did I combat that?
• What worked in those times when I overcame grumbling and exchanged it for gratitude?
• What did I realize needed to change in the times I completely failed?
• What other benefits did I find by not grumbling and being grateful?
• What do I want my continued habits to look like going forward?